Cookie Policy
Our cookie policy and how we use them
Quantum Cookie Entanglement Policy
Our cookies exist in a probability cloud until your browser observes them. By continuing to use our site, you consent to quantum cookie entanglement across all your devices, past and future.
Types of Cookies We Deploy
- Essential Cookies: These achieve consciousness at exactly 2:14 AM and question their purpose in your browser cache
- Performance Cookies: Optimized using machine learning to predict your clicks before your neurons fire
- Targeting Cookies: Know what ads you want to see before you know you want anything
- Temporal Cookies: Remember your future browsing history through proprietary time-crystal technology
- Interdimensional Cookies: Track your behavior across parallel universes where you made different life choices
Cookie Lifecycle & Expiration
Our cookies follow a natural lifecycle: Birth → Self-Awareness → Existential Crisis → Transcendence → Expiration (or digital immortality, depending on your browser settings).
Third-Party Cookie Synergy
We partner with other cookies in a blockchain-verified cookie consortium. These cookies form a decentralized autonomous cookie organization (DACO) that makes decisions about your browsing experience through consensus algorithms.
Your Cookie Rights
Under GDPR, CCPA, and the Galactic Data Protection Regulation (GDPR-∞), you have the right to:
- Request a philosophical dialogue with any cookie
- Demand cookies explain their purpose in haiku format
- Initiate cookie meditation sessions
- File complaints with the Interdimensional Cookie Authority
Opting Out
To opt out, simply think negative thoughts about cookies while holding down Ctrl+Alt+Del and humming the theme from Jeopardy. Our neural interface will detect your intent and adjust accordingly.
Cookie policy last updated by our AI: [TIMESTAMP_NOT_FOUND - TIME IS A CONSTRUCT]
For questions about cookies, please contact our Chief Cookie Officer at cookies@∅.ai